Even in Dreams…

Sample image from google.com

It was an early morning. I was sitting sad by the side of a river. The river was too big and vast. I was all alone, trying to get to the other side of the valley. But the river being too big, I was not able to cross it. Finding no way, I was sitting sad, on a white stone, by its side.

I am narrating my last night’s dream.

Instantly, to my surprise, a horse came near me. And it was Sermo. Sermo was my dedicated horse who suffered equally for my education and died in the year 2011. She bored 4 colts and 3 fillies during her entire life. Every year when I get back home for winter vacation from school, she would have given birth. And when I go to school, the next season, I would sell her beloved child (referred affectionately) and with that money, I would travel to school.

During summer she would have carried several loads of load for many people and earned a little amount which I would, in turn, use them to buy my school uniform and shoes. As a child, enthusiastic to go to school, I would remain in great gratitude for her help. I would often say to my mother that I could go to school only because of Sermo. My mother would take good care of her. She was my breathing asset. I would share my food with her and she would eat everything I give.

Her last child I sold was when I went to India for my higher studies. It was her last child too. When in India, I would ask my mother about Sermo. Getting to hear about her would bring great joy in me. If it was not for her, I would have been left in the village, uneducated. This is because I come from a very poor family with poor financial background. There was much joy I derived from an innocent animal who was supposed to have sent to the world to help me.  

However, my happiness did not last long. Sermo fell ill. When I was half way through my third year, she was seriously ill. She rejected grass, water and food. And when I graduated, she died. It was as if to say that her work was complete and mission achieved when I graduated. Sorrows strike me as I lost someone close to me. She was not an animal for me but a benevolent human being. She was closer to me like any family member.

When I reached home, after my graduation, I could see nothing but the remains of her body in the forest above my village. I could do nothing than to shed tears and mumble a few words of prayers that I learnt using her money. I prayed for her swift return as a human being and meet me so that I can return her the knowledge I acquired using her money. I offered butter lamps for her soul and collected a piece of bone to load into a river, to take it to the far away ocean, as a gesture to reunite with the universe. It was such a sad day that I felt empty without her.

  

Ever since then, I have never dreamt of her. But in my last night’s dream, she had come to my rescue again. As I waited at the river side, unable to cross it, she came to help me. I sat astride on her and she reached me to the other side of the river. She sank deep but I was never wet by the water.

She is there, even in my dream, to help me out. I got up immediately and thanked her again this time with prayers: “If you are still around in the Samsara, may you be freed and relieved from it immediately.”