Everywhere I go, I hear the problems of daughter-in-laws being unable to live in harmony with her Azhang and Anee (husband’s parents). The heated issue is mostly between mother-in-law (Anee) and her daughter-in-law (Chimin). Father-in-laws (Azhangs) usually remain dormant unless he is dragged in to interfere by Anee’s pitiful words. This statement (which seems to be against woman) is never intended to finger-point that women are rude and unfriendly. In fact they are better referred as ‘Khandoms’ in our society respectfully.
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But our ‘Khandoms’ sometimes go mad and this is true. I am confident that my personal experience never deceives me. I have seen and felt how difficult the situation becomes when in trouble. They, Anee and Chimin, would start with a small difference; let’s say, preparing dinner. Anee would prefer to prepare Bokpee (finely ground maize flour mixed with water: usually preferred by aged people) and Chimin, Kharang (roughly ground maize). Their difference in taste is difference in life. What Anee tells, as an experienced housekeeper, Chimin would not listen referring her to an ‘old model’. What Chimin suggests, Anee would not listen thinking she is too young to ‘order’ her. They are exactly opposite and repel each other just like the two similar poles of a magnet. Both being women, there is no affinity to bind their competing forces of choice. They always try to find faults in each other and altercate over petty issues which are sometimes a source of great laughter to the observers. They even hate seeing each other during their normal homely chores.
Selling her beloved son, Anee could not buy anything but an enemy? Marrying her lover, Chimin could not discover happiness but a battle field?
I wonder why Chimin should hate Anee. I am certain that there is no reason to hate each other. The fact that Chimin holds her head high in the society is because she is married happily. She has married the man she most loved in her life. And the man with love is the produce of Anee and Azhang’s factory. Without this factory, she would not have got her husband. Without him there would have been no one who would whisper promises by her ear saying "I will accompany you to the last breathe with undaunted love and care". To be precise, no one would be kind enough in the world to give someone their most beloved things. And if you have got the most desired object (and cared so much by the giver) in your life, why shouldn’t you be happy with the one who gave you?
Hating them is just like hating the ocean after getting the jewel from it. It is like cutting down the tree after plucking the fruit. In such cases one is being thankless and such people will never succeed in life. Our life is built on others’ heap of prayers. If such an old woman as Anee forecasts your ill future, we believe that their prayers would come true. Life is all about being able to 'negotiate and reconcile'. If both Anee and Chimin reach to certain understandings, life on earth would be but a heaven’s bliss.